be sure to give this year, after the ridiculous adornments are paid off

as promised yesterday, in the spirit of giving this holiday season, i wanted to share something about my parents' hoity toity suburban catholic church. thank god (pun intended), i only have to suffer this place once every few years when i get dragged there on xmas. there are many things to hate about this particular church, but the most agonizing is the cross.

hanging over the altar is this enormous glass monstrosity of a cross with jesus literally bursting forth from inside it. i wish i could find a picture of it online, but the web would not bear it forth. either way, it's huge, and it's a complete abomination. and, i swear, it casts this totally creepy devil shadow on the wall. i'm not making this up.

so the thing that pisses me off so much about all this is that the church has the gall to preach about the importance of giving and charity toward those less fortunate. well, guess what the going price is on glass, devil-shadow-casting crucifixes these days? apparently it's two hundred fifty thousand dollars.

ya know, it's fine if you want a cross that costs more money than the gross national product of some poor countries, but don't have the balls to tell me to take care of the poor. how many hot meals can you buy with $250k?

so, surburban church with scary cross worth $250k: please put that fucking thing on ebay; in the meantime i'll get a couple of two-by-fours from home depot, nail them together, and then we can talk about helping those less fortunate.